Funemployment

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I have not yet started library school (that begins next week) but the next stage in my progress as a librarian appears to be unemployment, or 'funemployment' as my friend @cigriggs calls it. I suppose I should take comfort in the fact that I haven't been sacked but that my job was simply a one year contract. When I applied for the job, got offered it and accepted it, I never really thought any further than actually starting work. Pretty soon I was getting told I had to apply for library school without really knowing whether that's what I wanted to do. I followed suit of previous library trainees who decided to stay in Oxford and work part-time, then travel down the road for an hour and a half to get to university on the necessary days. It seemed so simple but I didn't imagine finding a job would be so difficult, time consuming and demoralising. Last year I applied for the graduate traineeship, miraculously got an interview and even more miraculously got the job, and that was without applying for any other job or going to any other interviews. So one year on, sixteen application forms later (I'm sure it must be more but I've lost count) and six interviews later I haven't really got anywhere and it is quite a shock after the ease of last year's success.

I'm not entirely sure what the point if this post is or what tone to adopt. I think the main point to get across is the sheer terror of having no income and making the previous month's wages last the foreseeable future. I feel incredibly guilty for going out with friends and spending money on, what is now, unnecessary treats. The other day I accidentally printed off eleven pages of a document rather than two in the local library and thought the £2.20 cost had created a huge hole in my purse. That's an overreaction, admittedly, but never before have I had to watch what I spend so closely. I never thought I would get to the end of my contract at the Law Library and have nothing to go to next. What's worse, one of my housemates has moved out and taken the internet with her and there's no TV to watch, so until they're sorted I can't even keep myself occupied with that form of entertainment. I keep getting told to treat this period of unemployment as a holiday, but when you go on holiday it's because you've taken time away from something and you are going to return to it soon enough.

Not that I like to end on a moralistic note but I was moping around in my room doing not a lot and looked at the brand new Shakespeare quotation clock I got as a leaving present from work to check the time. It reads 'make use of time, let not advantage slip', so for the sake of my sanity I think of that every time I find myself staring into space and feeling sorry for myself, and try and do something productive.